on love and friendship

what is love? what is Frienship? these are two common questions without answers. or everyone seems to have thier own answers. becouse i dont belive in selflessness, i had to come up with some anser to the 'feeling' i have for those around me based on my experences. the anwer i came up with for the question of love is this: Love for another individual is when thier fealings or mood directly affect your own. wich is to say when thier happy, you are happy. when they experence success you, in some way, feel successfull as well. this i belive is the basic defanition of love. than what is hate? well hate is accually not the opposit of love, it is the same thing just reversed. so: Hate for another individual is when thier fealings or mood directly affect your own. such as when they are happy you are upset, and when they are discoureged you are satisfied. but hate is a little diffrent becouse it seems that weither they are happy or sad, you will probibly be discontent regardless. but i dont like dealing in negitives so i will continue on the love portion.
take a mothers love for thier child. this is said to be the truest form of love for some reason or another. and this defanition still aplies to the mother. little joey grows up to be successfull and mother is proud for him. or little joey gets a broken heart and mother feels bad for him and seeks to confort him. now becouse we are all individuals, honest love like that is difficult to repeat for someone who is not of kin. but it is possible. dude A and dude B share a common love. evan though this unsaid in the relationship it still works the same way. the reason this is difficult is becouse we exsist only in our own heads, letting our moods be affected by every one around us would cause for much emotional ups and downs. its so much tollerable to not be affected by everyones life and to just be indifferent to thier doings. what is to gain/lose than for loving another? well if the desired state of mind is one that is 'happy', than loving people who also desire 'happyness' can contribute to ceeping the realtionship a 'happy' one. if dude A loses his job and is discoureged, than dude B also feels this discouregment. so in desire to set himself back to a positive mindset, he seeks to bring dude A back up to positive aswell. thus resulting in both parties spending more time positive.
now onto the second topic, friendship. it would be too easy to say friendship is love, but than why use two diffrent words? yes friends love eachother, but what is the defanition of friendship? to me it seems that friendship is closer to the defanition of faith. if faith in god is to lose ones understanding to win god, than friendship is to lose ones understanding to win man. that is the word form of the defanition but i feel i need to clarify.
first lets take the first part of the phrase (by kierkegaard). to lose understanding. well to loose understanding is not to question. in one word frases it means to belive, or trust. but to go deeper it is like saying i will give up my entire quest for knowlege of the world around me. understanding something is like a nesesity for me. loosing understanding would be almost loosing my senses. my view of all that is around me. questioning everything is a way of life for me and to do without is like doing without my life. so if you are my friend, i am willing to give up my questioning nature to be closer to you. to accept you. to trust that what you do is what you do for your purposes only. like having you back against the wall, you dont have to worry about what you cannot see by elimanating it compleatly by knowing there is nothing behind you. so having a friend that you dont need to question lets you use the prosses of elimination to solve problems.
hmm... im sorry people, i dont seem to be very clear on this topic. if enyones got eny wise words of clarification feel free to say what im trying to say. i thought i understood my own notions, but it seems i need more thought on the topic. hmm... well on to the next item!
positive friendships and negitive friendships. last week i posted a poem that introduses the the two basis of friendships that i am talking about. to put the bad notions first so as to end on a better note, negitive friendships are grupes of 'frineds' who hang out and compare woes and dis eachother for humer for cheap laughs. in observation of grupes like this, i see people whose friendships are there seemingly out of the simple nesseity for friends. the compition of who can fling the biggest shit and who has the worst sob story sets up an atmosphere where ones dreams and goles are hidden from one another so they cant be used against them as fuel for the fire of laughter. individually the members of the grupe may be facinating individuals, filled with dreams, goals, and ideas that may be of use to cultivate or shared to inspire others. but becouse of the consistant atmosphere they put themselves in, those dreams fade, and those ideas forgotten. i guess the way they go about calling them selvs friends is by the assosiation of laughter amongst themselves with the time they spend together. but you will find in those grupes of friends fights, arguments, and other dishonorable and unessisary actions. the members are always on guard to defend themselvs or to send a cheap jest. an atmosphere that makes one want to just ceep silent, as to not be hurt. i belive that amonst males, this type of friendship is borne from the natural desire to be alpha male by means of compition. and the one who deals the best seres of jests gets his moment in the spotlite for that evaning or till someone takes him down. were i female i could describe that situation, but as i am not, i do not know how that works. but enough said bout negitiv based friendships.
now not all friendships are that bad or as good as what i am about to describe. most grupes of friends are probibly in the middle of them both. next time your chillen with your homies, listen to what is being said and determan what kind of friends you have.
so if that is a negitive friendship than what is a positive friendship? how is one created, and what are the benifits? at what cost? to me, positive friendships are the only form of friendship that i desire to have. these gupes of people have a relationship that i wouldent describe as happy, its better described as an atmosphere of acceptance. like enything you do is ok, and no one is going to give you a bad time about it. if a member of the negitive grupe were to join these people, as he jests, the accepting people really dont laugh as they see jests as simply unessisary. you will often find these types of grupes amonst the 'odballs' of society, and we all know what i meen. all the people who dont qute fit in with all the other clicks kinda form thier own with other people who like what they do rather than what thier friends do. so in these grupes of friends you will find an extreamly wide variety of people. your 'nerds' chillen with 'rockers' and your 'gangstas' with your 'art freaks', all chillen in one clique brought together by the accepance and apreciation they have with one another. creating an atmosphere of a positive relationship isnt something you can really plan out. first thing, cut the jests. yes they are funny, but they really dont do enything but grant the emediat self indugence of a quick laugh. one of the hardest thing about this grupe relation is to be the first to state the obvios. "hey, i really like chillen with you people becouse (____insert reason___)". at first this seems a little homosexual. and if you are in a negitive groupe, it will not be accepted at all, and you will get torn apart, evan if the others agree with you. but there is always a chance than someone else will follow you by agreeing without eny rude remark. then there follows a moment of satisfation. its kinda like the whole notion of living in the moment. depending on the degree of friendship, you will feel a level satisfation with the current situation. complimenting others on thier success and other things good you can point out dont give you laughter, but over time, that positive atmosphere turns into assosiation, and just seeing that person will bring gladness. ya know? one key point of conversation at this point is ideas. from what i have seen, not many people have them, but bring the ones you got to the table and talk about them. they can be amusing or way rad. its all good just ceep them coming.
so, now we have theroetically created a positive friendship. the cost was loss of most of the quick laughter, and the balls to state apreceation. what do we get from this? we now have an atmosphere of great mental productivity and accual trust. becouse dude A is no longer worried about what dude B is going to use against him, he is able to show more of his true self. becouse dude B knows dude A better now he can trust him more. and vice versa. as they say, two heads are better than one, and if there are eny problems or ideas that need to be worked on, they dont have to be alone. sharing you goals and dreams with another peorson can give you a diffrent angle that you might not have seen before. putting you closter to accually reaching them than you could have done on your own. if you share your past with someone, share experences with them, and your ideal future, that person now has a compleat view of who you are and want to be (desire are apart of who you are..). now that you know eachother better you can understand eachother better, and being understood is in theory the whole point of conversation! so! now enything you say will be a compleat conversation! and you will be happy.
eh. you get it. this paper is losing its touch... if it had one... but enywhat yea! think about it for a while. if you get it say so and if you have questions, ask them. if you dont, your dum.
ttfn
-Don Hearto

weekend

an omnipresent sound.
a contunuous irritance
masked by the controlled vibrations
of mass prodused expression
blirrd breaks from toil
and laughter from shit at shit
render useless waste of potential potential.
my dreams are learned apart by an observaition of child hood heros
the men of my youth have come clean and admitted to thier over grown childness
through expression of problems and lack of solutions
armed with active ignorence and legged with lazyness
our new man is lead by the cock and imeadeat intence self indulgences,
growing tomarows man in his likeness.

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.

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how i long to again compair rediculous notions
with fellow dreamers and men who enjoy the mindfull over the mindless
to dispute ideas, not relations, loving mind, not body, laughing to instences, not insults.
and most of all, acceptiong difreces, instead of that damnible practice of conformity

caused by the ever present compition of throwing dirt for cheep giggles.

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i can see the faces of the touchable friends and friends enrout
a glorios voice that is more projectile than wave.
so intamit with thier own ness that it is being in the presence of another god
thier own woes are thrills allowing happieness for once.
and the hours are not in the actual couse for language.

casual wonder #1

do you ever feel like you want everything you own to break. like if it were all gone and not your fault, you could start anew gult free? like all the things around you are all falling apart so you have pick up the peaces and put it together. or just the opposit. like nothing around you is going aray and you wish you started off not so lucky so you could earn the things around you? or evan, you did earn everything you have but the process of working tward them was so much more saticfactory than having it? hmm...
i have a theory, that when things come down to ones true desires, working for them will be just as stimulating. but, when you accually earn what it is you are after, you will feel content and proud of your sucess. and the things around you will resemble the qualities in yourself. like your rewards were accually yours all along. hmm... i guess ill have to see what i can make out of life.

existance

there was a period of time were i was struggeling with religion. before this i was a christian and before that i was sooper devout but slowly started to think and comprehend more and more as i got older. why morals? why sin? why heven or hell? why jesus? why god? why exist? these were some of the questions in my head as i attended sunday school. it was some time later that i started to doubt what was being forced down my throat based on faith instead of logic. in the words of kierkegaard, "to belive is precisely to loose ones understanding to win god." to loose understanding is something i was simply not willing to do. now having based my life on this thing called faith and seemingly suddenly it was not there, i was at loss to say the least. well it is in the nature of man to have something to cling on to and this natural instinkt is something i was still holding onto.
than the wonderfull thought came to my head, what if there was no reason for the being of man? this thought what extreamly usefull to me. the way i see it, if there is no real reason, than arnt we essentually free to do as we wish? for instance take a racing based vidio game. the designers of this game took it apon themselfs to design an abstract and amazing soroundings for you to pilot or drive your vehicle. having no goal or objective essentually gives you the time to explore all the wonderfull graffics. (all moral obligations to be described at a later date) for instance take a racing based vidio game. the designers of this game took it apon themselfs to design an abstract and amazing soroundings for you to pilot or drive your vehicle. having no goal or objective essentually gives you the time to explore all the wonderfull graffics. and evan in the vidio game you are restricted to the limitations of your craft in wich you are suposed to compleat the race. eh, you get the point and enywhat,i digress. this concept/idea was increadably uplifting for me as it alloud me to be whoever i wanted to be, it let me be myself, without the donting task of living up to a god. while this was good, i needed something a bit more to describe my exestence.
so i went to the very begining, wich was simply confirming that i do exist. thats a pritty simple task is it not? the frase "i think therefore i am", said by Rene Descartes came to mind. at the time i could not think of who accually came up with that phrase but it seemed appropirat for the explanation of my existance. so that was good. i had something to work with. it is appropirat to point out that this defanition did not tell me how i came to exist, in what means i existed, or if there was enything but me in existance. but it was a starting point.
so the next step is to define the world as i see it. or sence it. we understand our soroundings through our five sences. but our sences are just electronical singnals organized into memories within our own heads. so how do we explain this. following Descartes's example i came up with the phrase, "you have a name, therefore you are". by name i mean that i can describe you through one of my five sences. and i dont mean you as in your person. i mean everything i can see feel hear smell and taste. for instance this chair that im sitting in now. i call it a chair. or i can call it wood with faboric and padding. or i can call it [insert correct cemical components here]. so in short, it exists becouse i can specify it within my relm of thought. all actions thoughts people places and things can be described in the same mannor.
so now, i exist and everthing around me exists aswell. this is wonderfull i think. so now what do i call this mutual existance? GOD!